Lately, I’ve been feeling sh*t about my self and how I look. I think I’m really struggling with my mum-tum and how much my body doesn’t do want it used too. I used to be really flexible and now nearly a year of trapeze I’m still at the same none flexible me I was when I started. Thought it would have started making me more flexible and lose weight by now but it doesn’t feel like it is.

I really want to lose my mum-tum and get back into shape. Not back to before the kids but back to how I was before I had the toddler but I’m struggling to get rid of the mum-tum. Then I’m not losing weight even with eating better and walking more on top of my trapeze classes. On top of that, I’m struggling with not being as flexible as I was and can’t seem to get my flexibility to strength more.

I think that because I don’t have a husband that builds me up and doesn’t notice anything. I died my hair a week ago and he still hasn’t noticed. Which doesn’t say much if he doesn’t notice anything that stands out the most. He doesn’t even support what I do, don’t think he even thinks about it to be fair, I’m studying to be a nurse and he doesn’t give me time without the kids so at the minute I don’t know why I’m bothering as I’m not getting time to sit and study in quiet apparently I can do it in a room full of kids and sort them out in between.

Having the sister in law living with us that the minute in a tiny house isn’t helping with my mental health as I’m no longer coping with having people in the house that haven’t been grown in my stomach or I married. She has been here over a month and a half and we don’t know when she will be leaving as she is waiting on a house after her marriage break down. It hard on her I know but I really struggling as I’m not having my space and basically sorting out 6 other people on to of my self and my health issues. But my other half doesn’t see that and its all about helping his sister.

They might all seem like little things to most but when you live in a multicultural family and your other halves family and him expect you to follow their cultural and family ways it’s hard. Especially when you’re ignored and only there when his family want something like you driving them to the shops/work, they speak in a language I don’t understand around me even after multiple times asking them not too. (something his sister hated her husband doing to her yet does to me)

Think i need to have a break I really need time for me and my home back before I go crazy.